This is one of those days where I really question myself. What kind of mother am I??? Last night we took Jason to the local pool for an evening of "free swim". We were excited to just go and have some fun with the kids, jumping in the water, having splash fights, seeing who could swim the farthest underwater, you know the score. We were all looking forward to getting some exercise and having a blast at the same time. We figured it would be just like the YMCA in Missoula. NO. It was a complete zoo...
First of all, it was packed with people with no space to change or set your clothes down. Then when we got out to the pool area, which was enormous, the lanes were FULL. There was no area for the kids to just swim and mess around. You basically had to be in a lane line swimming with adults doing laps. I guess they don't have a place for kids to just mess around in the pool and have fun.
So, we went back out, got dressed and went and had some gelato to drown our sorrows. Jason started acting up a bit. It wasn't like him at all to be so mean. After giving serious consequences that didn't seem to phase him, I was at the end of my rope.
When we got home, I finally was able to get him to talk. The poor kid is lonely... We had a really long tear-filled conversation. He told me how much he misses his friends and in particular, Joseph Gillett and Griffin Richter. He said he didn't want to be on sabbatical and he didn't understand why we had to leave our friends and come to Italy. " After all mom, four more months is a really long time " ...
Wow. I felt terrible. I mean, I thought what a great experience for the kids to live in a different country, speak a different language, etc., etc. I hadn't realized just how hard this was on the kids. I mean I should have realized it because I am terribly missing my own friends... Why haven't I been sensitive to my kids' struggles with missing friends and specific foods and easier ways of doing things.
I talked to Jason about that fact that we are here now, and the important thing is to make the best of it and enjoy the wonderful things that we have here that we don't have at home. Jason is easy-going, so I am sure he will bounce back and be just fine tomorrow. I sure hope in the future that I pay more attention to how the kids are doing and what level of discomfort they are feeling in these foreign places we are taking them to.
Say prayers for me to be a better mom, please...
~Mary
Oh Mary, I think the same thing applies here as with people who doubt their sanity - "Am I going crazy?" - is a good sign that you're not. "Am I being a good parent?" is an indication that you're being mindful of being a good parent and making every effort. Unfortunately you and I have the advantage of years to know that most likey J will look back on this as an adult and share with others, "Here's something awesome I got to do as a kid!" Not to mention the opening of the whole world to him during his youth. But I'm wondering - is there any way to do a "Skype Party" with his friends (and yours) from back home? Hugs.
ReplyDeleteMary, I'm not even a mom, and I know you're a great one!!!
ReplyDeleteI know what Jason is going through, I really miss Joseph Gillett, too! I will pray that ya'll will be able to make some wonderful new friends on your journey!